How Chronic Illness Led Me to Write My First Novel
On 2/2/22, I contracted COVID and remained bedridden for months in survival mode, staring at the four walls of my bedroom. By the grace of God, I was diagnosed relatively quickly with Long COVID and debilitating POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), and, with the help of management strategies and medication, was eventually able to venture out to the lounge.
This interview, filmed near the end of my first year after contracting COVID by ME Support NZ, aims to raise awareness of the devastation many millions of people throughout the world are suffering as a result of contracting COVID. I look at it now and wonder how I managed to put on makeup. What you don’t see is the week-long crash that followed the interview. At that time, my main focus was treatment for POTS. I shared my long list of symptoms and the strategies that helped, including difficulty breathing, digestive issues, fatigue, sleep problems, and body pain.
Since then, I’ve been diagnosed with additional chronic conditions, including Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS), Chronic Lung Disease, Recurring Pneumonia, and Chronic Sinusitis. During my almost five years since contracting COVID, I’ve also suffered two frozen shoulders (the name belies the pain) and sepsis, which landed me in hospital fighting for my life. As a result of that battle, I now have chronic lung disease. I’ve been referred from one specialist to another as doctors try to determine the cause of my many unexplained symptoms. I can only stand for a few minutes at a time, and I can only leave the house with assistance, using a wheelchair. I’m about to undergo surgery to clear my sinuses, which my latest specialist believes is the cause of my recurring pneumonia. These health issues have all had a major impact on my ability to manage my POTS, which remains severe.
When I finally recovered well enough to move beyond survival mode, I struggled to understand how to live a new normal. In that first year, my cardiologist asked if I’d like a referral to a health psychologist. I didn’t understand why. It hadn’t yet registered that I had an incurable condition and life, as I knew it, was gone. But once I did, I knew I needed help to cope. She helped me see I was lacking in self-compassion, and helped me focus on what I could do, not what I couldn’t.
During one of New Zealand’s lockdowns, my friend and I did a deep dive into scripture all from a word that I received: “Rachel, crying for her children who are no more.” And then I got COVID, and my friend had a daughter, naming her Rachel Beth. But because of my severe brain fog, I couldn’t remember why “Rachel” and “Beth” (after Bethel) were important to us. So, with God’s help, from my bed, I collated our detailed research notes and added to them, and it all came flooding back. I remembered why Rachel was important and why her story needed to be told.
Thank you for watching this video. I hope you’ll gain some insight into chronic illness, particularly Long COVID and POTS, and the hidden story behind the writing of Rachel, Beloved of Israel.
Tracey shares her journey with Long Covid with ME Support NZ to help other sufferers understand their symptoms and find the help they need.
